gunno

Profound Sadness

Sat, 05 May 2007 02:01:02 GMT

Rest In Peace Becki and Mackenzie Caudell

Becki, you were taken far to soon.

Mackenzie, you were taken before we could even know you.

God willing, we will see each other again one day, and I will wait patiently for that occassion.

I Rain (adapted from Hafiz)

I rain
Because your meadows call
For God.

I weave light into words so that
When your mind holds them

Your eyes will relinquish their sadness,
Turn bright, a little brighter, giving to us
The way a candle does
To the dark.

I have wrapped my laughter like a birthday gift
And left it beside your bed.

I have planted the wisdom in my heart
Next to every signpost in the sky.

A divine crazed soul
Is transformed into infinite generosity

Tying sacks of gratuity
To the dangling feet of moons, planets, ecstatic
Midair dervishes, and singing birds.

I speak
Because every cell in your body
Is reaching out
For God.

Book meme...not for me

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 03:57:06 GMT

So suncrush and harrowing_grace both had what I thought was a cool meme about books. I wanted to participate, but since I don't read for pleasure (well, very rarely anyway), I have decided to change it to movies! Basically I changed every occurrence of the word "book" to "movie", and so for certain questions you'll have to suspend disbelief. On the desert island, for instance, you will have to infer that you also have some means of watching the damn movie. So here is my stolen and modified meme:

1. One movie that changed your life: "Glory" By far my favorite movie of all time. It made me a huge Civil War buff, and almost had me major in history. To this day I consider going for my Masters in History instead of my MBA so I can teach Civil War related classes.

2. One movie that you have watched more than once: There have been many, far too many to name. On of my favorites as of late has been the "Band of Brothers" miniseries (not technically a movie).

3. One movie you'd want on a desert island: "Anchorman", as I sure as hell would need something to make me laugh.

4. One movie that made you laugh: Once again, many, but pretty much anything involving fecal matter of farts is good for me.

5. One movie that made you cry: I don't cry. This has been the subject of previous posts. I can't even think of a movie that had me close.

6. One movie you wish would have been made: To my knowledge there is no significant movie telling the story of WWII from the German side. For the brief amount of time we were able to converse with Erica's Grandmother (she lived through it as a young woman), I always found it fascinating.

7. One movie you wish had never been made: "The Cell", which has the honor of being the only movie I have ever walked out on. It is by far the crappiest movie ever made, and solidified my view that Jennifer Lopez is worthless in all things not involving her ass dimensions.

8. The movie you most recently watched: Hmmm...I've been watching a lot of miniseries lately, so I'm not sure what the last actual movie I watched was. I think it may have been "Shop Girl", which was decent. The most memorable recent movie would have to be "Everything is Illuminated".

9. One movie you have been meaning to watch: I don;t even know where to start. Having children is a blessing, but certainly takes away free time that used to be occupied by going out and doing things, such as going to the movies. So, "X-Men 3" would be up there for me, as well as the new "Pirates of the Caribbean".

A Reason to Finally Be On My PC

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 01:54:19 GMT

I've been feeling very anti-computer lately. I don't really know why, but ever since we moved it just hasn't been appealing to me. This is odd mostly because before we moved I was hardly ever off of it. However, I found a new web-based game the other night while doing random things. It's called MonstersGame. So far I'm really enjoying it. It is based entirely on your browser, is free (you can pay for "premium" account status), and is themed around vampires and werewolves, so I'm down. Off to make my character strong enough to bash some werewolves.

Time to Update I Suppose...

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:31:24 GMT

My work at the hiring office is going relatively well. I have a little more then half of my staff hired, and they start training soon. As long as I keep this pace all will be well for grand opening. I checked out this cool Asian market named "Assi" today near the Montgomeryville Mall. Just about everything in the place was imported from Japan, Korea or China. It is also the size of a conventional supermarket, so it was quite a bit to see. Everything was written in Chinese and English, and all of their loudspeaker announcements were in Chinese. They also had this awesome machine that made rice cakes. Another manager took a video of it with his phone, and if I can get it I will post it. It was freakin' amazing, and I definately bought some fresh made rice cakes.

My wife, harrowing_grace, had an incident with her knee yesterday while carrying Ian down the steps. I was sitting at the computer in the basement, and she was coming down the stairs next to me, which is completely blocked from view. She slipped, and being the awesome mother she is, clutched Ian to her chest and fell down several stairs on her ass and her back. Unfortunately for me, she made a horrendous noise while doing so, and yelled "OH MY GOD!" about five times while falling down the steps, of course with Ian crying. Acting only on sound, I had assumed she lost her grip on Ian and the noise of her falling was the sound of my baby bouncing down the steps. There are no words to describe what thinking that feels like. All I can say is I left my bowels on the computer chair and never moved so fast in my life. I fully expected to find Ian at the bottom of the steps, and was very relieved to find Erica holding him. Whew... My stomach still isn't quite right. This is rapidly turning into a long and drawn out post, so more later.

Bored in Virginia

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 22:41:20 GMT

So here I am in Virginia...bored. Work is pretty good, but I'm not sure what to do while I'm not working, and I miss Erica and the kids. Oh well...

OMG...the VW Rabbit is back!

Also for your reading pleasure, I offer the following:

Manisms

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. Read More!

That is all for now...

The Internet is Back

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 03:10:28 GMT

Woot! I finally got my internet to work after much crappery. Here are the quick updates:

1. Moving is going well, but there is still far too much to do, and apparently a lot of shit to by. I feel like I have a second asshole from which money pours out.

2. Work is going well. I am going to Virginia for four days this upcoming week to check out a newer store and see how they merchandise.

3. I was working at the Allentown Wegmans the other day (I am still assigned to no particular store), and saw Deidre. It was nice to see her, and I forgot for a moment that I had moved, and so this was not a typical event. :-(

4. The new house is cool, we just need to meet all of our neighbors, and find some kids around Kayla's age for her to play with. Until I get to know everybody I will assume that they are all perverts or keep bodies in their basements.

5. I hope one day to be as hot to my wife as Anderson Cooper is. He is my new idol.

Taken from my honorary gay friend

Fri, 19 May 2006 02:23:04 GMT

Yup, stolen from suncrush because he said I had to. It was a requirement dammit!

Comment here and*:
1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll challenge you to try something
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you
4. I'll tell you something I like about you
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours

Everything is Illuminated

Thu, 18 May 2006 10:06:39 GMT

Everything is Illuminated turned out to be a pretty decent movie. I was skeptical at first, but we enjoyed it. After reading the description of the book, however, I feel somewhat disappointed. The movie, for us, was mostly a comedy, and the plot for the most part got lost within the light comedic humor. Don't get me wrong, we got the overall message, but it really wasn't that hard. I was also prepared for some sort of shocking ending, which did not really happen. Supposedly the book does a better job in the plot dynamics department, but it also appears semi-tedious to read. I know I probably won't, but maybe Erica will read it, and she can let me know if it's any good :-)

Howie Rocks the Bald

Fri, 12 May 2006 02:34:49 GMT

Tonight I got caught up watching "Opening Cases with Howie Mendell". That show is addicting, and I have no idea why.

Erica is the only woman I know who can be enough of a social butterfly to have people she has never met, other then in the virtual world of Final Fantasy, send her things after giving birth to Ian. Not just one package mind you, but several. She got a "cookie bouquet" from one of her clans, and two seperate deliveries of home made baked goods (very tasty ones, btw), from a very nice couple she met there too. Strange...but I'm not complaining, because cookies are good.

Speaking of packages, my good friend cliohdna was very sweet in sending my daughter two My Little Ponies, and a nice little letter talking about having a little brother. Being who she is, she also decided to include about 1,000 little plastic stars. My daughter thought that was amazing, and proceeded to dump them all over my living room floor. This was three or four days ago, and I have learned some things since then:

1. See-through plastic stars blend into brown carpet very well.
2. Plastic stars have sharp edges, and are not pleasant to step on while carrying a hot cup of coffee.
3. I will never find all of them...ever.

Sweet none the less though, and all this from my partner in "unique" porn. In other news, I am considering sending cliohdna some toe nail clippings to even the score.

Jesus is 'Effin Metal

Tue, 09 May 2006 03:13:27 GMT

I'm in the process of compiling some metal songs for a single CD that I intend to take to work and drive my fellow workers nuts. You see, three or four of the other folks that are in wicked early generally monopolize the radio with songs that were popular when they were young, and I promise you, that was a long time ago. It's a lot of the stuff Oldies stations used to play when they really were "Oldies" and not "Classics" like they are now, but I digress.

My little project has gotten complicated, because I couldn't decide what to put on, and so I mentioned it to some of my similar aged coworkers while I was threatening the others with it. It quickly escalated into a CD of "The Greatest Metal Songs of All Time", and there are rules now too. No more then one song from any one band, and equal representation from each decade involved, whenever realistically possible. I need suggestions...

Before I present what will already be on it, and what I already have under consideration, please understand that this is a relatively loose interpretation of "metal". I'll call this my "Bob disclaimer", because I can hear him whining already, and he's 300 miles away. Also remember it is only one CD.

Already on the CD
Pantera - "Cowboys from Hell"
Megadeath - "Symphony of Destruction"
Slipknot - "Wait and Bleed"
Rage Against the Machine - "Bulls on Parade"

Up for Consideration/Under Review
Black Sabbath - "Children of the Grave"
Disturbed - "Down with the Sickness"
Iron Maiden - "Hallowed be thy Name"
Manowar - "Black Wind, Fire and Steel"
Metallica - "Master of Puppets"
Motorhead - "Ace of Spades"
Sepultura - "Arise"
Slayer - "Reign in Blood" or "Seasons in the Abyss"
System of a Down - "Toxicity"

There they are, I am open to any and all suggestions...except the stupid ones.

Ian Alexander Fleming, born 4/26/06 at 4:34 AM

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 01:54:04 GMT

My boy is finally here! This post won't be long, because I have a million things to do (and sleep is near the top of the list, in case you didn't notice the time of birth), but I wanted to let everyone know that Ian and Erica are both doing very well, and of course,

Edit: I'm a moron, and left out the details. Ian is 8 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long. He has blue eyes (like all babies) and brown hair. In reply to several people pointing out that Ian is thoughtfully displaying his middle finger in the last picture, it is one of two things: 1) Ian is contemplating the administration of George W. Bush, and reacting appropriately or 2) Is directing said finger at a gentleman named Mike Kun, for no particular reason.

I hate my phone

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 02:11:13 GMT

I think my phone has rung about 40 times since I've gotten home from work. I almost threw it against the wall to make it stop. I'm a little irritated about it. Seriously, if you live upstairs from me, there is no reason to call me five times within an hour, let alone within a night. Come down, say everything you have to say, and go away.

I now offer the following for those who will not stop calling me:

Erica has not gone into labor; I promise everyone will know when Ian is born. Yes, her being overdue is frustrating, and yes, being asked about it 1,000 times a day is as frustrating.

I am not a social person, if you do not have anything to say, don't call me. Please don't expect me to make conversation, because I won't. There will simply be awkward phone silence, which will end with me hanging up.

Yes I have started my new job, and no we have not found a house yet. These both make me tired...a lot. All the more reason not to call me when you don't need to.

Please be like our friend Rachel, and simply pop by for a little while and hang out. This is fine, we like people...really. She didn't call and pester us, she just came over and chilled.

I'm sure there is more, but now this post is starting to annoy me too.

World War Three?

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 01:54:51 GMT

It occurs to me that Iran is somewhat like the attention deprived kid in school that would never shut up until someone kicked his ass. A few days ago Iran announced that it had succeeded in enriching a small amount of uranium, meaning they now have the capacity to at least make a "dirty" bomb (ie: a non-nuclear device that would us it's ordinance to spread radioactive material over a given area). We replied with some useless banter about possible military options, to which Iran replied they had an army of martyrs prepared to suicide bomb targets in the US and the UK. They even provided proof by putting on a parade of soldiers with live bombs strapped to their chests, some 20,000 of them, and allowed international reporters to attend.

Today I read on MSNBC about how we have gained the support of the UN on Iran, and would like to continue towards a diplomatic solution. Would this be the same diplomacy the allies tried to use with Hitler previous to WWII? You know, after he annexed Austria and parts of Checkoslovakia, and then invaded the rest of the country, and the allies continued diplomacy, even after his intent was clear? Perhaps it is the kind of diplomacy that worked with the Taliban, or North Korea, or maybe Iraq? Maybe it's that new fangled diplomacy that is working such wonders with the Hamas led government of Palestine, fresh off of their latest state sponsored suicide bombing of innocent Israelis.

The way I see it is that the world needs glass, Iran has a lot of sand, and we have a lot of bombs. End of story.

Updates suck

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:23:47 GMT

It occurs to me that I haven't posted anything in some time. For the sake of putting something here, I found this really cool video the other days on Ebaums. It was made entirely by two high school kids, who did their own special effects and everything. It's a light saber battle, and is very well done. I think it's the sort of thing Bob and I might have done had we gone to the same high school.

Haiku Fest 2006

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 03:07:33 GMT

Inspired by suncrush, I want to see how much Haiku I can gather in one place, namely this post. It can be any form that you wish. In other words, you can choose to use 17 syllables in any order, or stick to the standard 5-7-5. I am artistically stunted, but here is my contribution:

There was nothing here
Then your soul whispered to me
"Come here and know love"

Yes...I wrote it for Erica. Anyway, it bodes well for this effort that her and all her friends are English Lit dorks, and so must contribute! Let the fun begin!

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:13:35 GMT

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which; he simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both."

Buddha

Old News

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 23:16:46 GMT

Something odd occured to me today. This is for those of you who watch the news, read, or pay attention at all to the world not directly in front of them. Do you recall all of the uproar over the political cartoons printed in Europe depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad? If you don't know what I'm talking about, go ahead and click here to get yourself up to speed.

If you would like to see the actual cartoons in question, click here

Anyway, after the cartoons were printed, and then reprinted all over Europe, some Muslims protested, rioted, and killed people because it is considered blasphemy to actually depict the prophet Muhammad; one is only permitted to write his name (that's the Cliff's Notes version). The thing that occured to me is that back in 2001, South Park depicted Muhammad in an episode about the "Super Best Friends", a playful take on the Super Friends. Never seen the episode? Here is a picture. That's him behind the Buddha and next to Jesus (the others pictured are Krishna, Joseph Smith {founded Mormonism}, Lao Tsu {founder of Taoism}, and Sea Man at the controls - Sea Man is there to parody Aqua Man, who was utterly useless).

So why is it that printing political cartoons in the name of free speech causes muslims to riot and kill, but using his image for comedic purposes on one of the most vulgar shows on American television is apparently okay? Opinions?

Woot!

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 12:04:54 GMT

I done gone and got myself promoted yesterday! I meant to post yesterday, but was very excited and distracted. Anyway, I will be moving shortly closer to Philadelphia in order to work in a new store being built in Warrington. More later, but this was done so as to allow my very eager wife to post, since she didn't want to break my news to anyone before me. Woot!

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 11:00:38 GMT

I had never seen PostSecret before this morning. It really is an interesting site, where people mail in their secrets anonymously, and this guy picks 10 or 20 to post every Sunday. Some are funny, some sad, but it really is artistic and interesting.

How much more death could there be?

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 12:07:32 GMT

Senseless death is always upsetting, even when you don't know the people involved.

Big news in the Lehigh Valley now is a car accident from Sunday morning at 6:30 AM that killed two of the three teenagers involved, both from Easton Area High School They were traveling down a residential street with a posted speed limit of 25 mph. No word yet on how fast they were going, but the driver lost control and hit a tree hard enough to throw the engine block 60 feet from the car. Yes, the entire engine block brock free of the car, and traveled 60 feet before stopping. The only reason it stopped was because it hit another car. For those of you who are curious, I would guesstimate that the engine weighed somewhere around 400 lbs. Debris was scattered up to 100 feet away from the car, including the rooftops of surrounding houses.

The 16 year old girl (I saw her picture, she looked pretty, and by all accounts was nice) was in the passenger seat and not wearing a seat belt. She was ejected from the car and traveled at least 20 feet. She was dead before she hit the ground. The kid in the backseat also died on impact, and was unable to be recovered from the car for hours as police and emergency personnel tried to recover him. In life's cosmic irony, the driver survived.

I suppose we should all be happy that someone survived, and I am. There is rumor now that alcohol was involved (shock and surprise), and even minus alcohol, these kids were being incredibly stupid. I'm also sure that by surviving, this kid wil get to live in is own personnel hell for a while, and most likely get to spend a good amount of time in jail. Like I said, an altogether upsetting incident.

Long overdue...

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 02:19:56 GMT

In a move long, long overdue, they are finally cancelling Charmed. I'm sorry, I know there are fans (such as my wife), but seriously, there can only be so many stupid "all powerful" demons. Were I a 1,000 year old demon, I'd say, "Right, I think I'll just stay away from those crazy bitches...besides, they throw dust and shit." In other news, the entire nation just gained an average of 10 IQ points, coincidence?

Our Vice President shoots people to support our troops

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:34:10 GMT

I found this quote today,and it made me chuckle:

"I dunno ... maybe we're being unfair to the vice president ... I mean, if you really think about it, most days he doesn't shoot anybody!"

Five points if you can tell me where it's from. For those of you such as my wife, who are oblivious to world events, it's referring to Vice President Cheney accidently shooting a friend of his (in the face!) with a shotgun while hunting.

Night Watch

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 20:48:50 GMT

Damnit! I want to go see Night Watch and it's not playing near me. I was going totake my buddy Diedre, because I owe her a vampire movie, and now I'm just bummed. On top of being a vampire movie, it's in Russian! What makes it worse is that it is probably playing in Pittsburgh, so cthulhulian and andthemoon can see it, and I can't...bastards.

Hooray for Al Imarat al Arabiyah al Muttahidah!

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 04:27:47 GMT

For those of you not majoring in the History of the Middle East, or those who don't speak Arabic, that would be the United Arab Emirates. In case you don't watch the news (like my wife), because a state owned company in Dubai (a member emirate of the UAE) has purchased a British firm that runs six of our major ports (those in New York, New Jersey, Baltimore, New Orleans, Miami and Philadelphia), Dubai will essentially be in charge of the security of these ports.

Why is this a big deal? There has always been a concern that things not beneficial to our security, such as a chemical or biological agent, nuclear material, or terrorists, could make there way into the U.S. through our crappily secured ports. These ports take in billions of dollars worth of goods each day in containers that are loaded on to the backs of trucks and sent on their way. We generally assume that whatever the manifest says the containers have in them is what they really have in them. In case you were wondering, about 5% of the containers are actually inspected. That's right, one out of every twenty.

The concern isn't that they will do a lousy job inspecting that which is entering our country. We do a shitty job of that all by ourselves. The concern is that they will outright facilitate terrorism inside the United States. You may not have known that two of the hijackers from 9-11 came from the UAE. You may also not have known that most of the money used to sponsor terrorism (including the 9-11 attacks) was routed through the UAE banking system (because they *gasp* own some US banks!). Also, they were one of three countries on the planet to recognize the Taliban as the legitimate rulers of Afghanistan.

In the meantime President Bush has promised that this deal will go through, and he will veto any attempt by Congress to pass law preventing or delaying it. Why is he so eager to get this done? I'm sure republican coffers don't have any money from the UAE in it...

If this is the first you are hearing of this, for the love of God, turn on CNN or pick up a newspaper. Those who don't pay attention are the first to cry foul when something bad happens.

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Tue, 21 Feb 2006 15:16:53 GMT

-Begin Rant-

The other day I got this severe urge to write. I have no idea why, but it almost made my head hurt because it wouldn't go away. Writing, however, would take serious time away from drinking and/or playing video games (although I don't do nearly as much drinking as I would like to). Then I thought to myself, if I write, what am I going to do with it? I could delete it when I'm all done since it's out of my head, which is what I typically do, or I could post it in my LJ for all to read. The problem with the latter is that my LJ would then officially become everything I hate about the internet, and I don't see that happening. By this I mean people who think they can write, but can't (and I'm not saying that I can), putting their work up for all to see, and then bitching about people's comments over it. Not going to happen...

- Rant Over -